For Me, For You and For Richard Sherman

How Richard Sherman is Helping Me Mentor Youth

You must have seen it ‘go down’ on television last night right after the Seahawks' win.  If you happened to be occupied during the Seahawks 49ers game or away from a television, then your Twitter feed was surely blowing up.  As early as this morning, it was a hot topic of conversation in the grocery line. Chances are, you are at least tangentially familiar with the Richard Sherman rant.

On the final drive of the NFC Divisional Playoff series, Seattle cornerback Richard Sherman tipped a ball that was intended for 49ers wide receiver, Michael Crabtree.  The deflected ball was quickly intercepted, propelling the Seattle Seahawks into the upcoming February 2nd Superbowl.  The drive was amazing to watch. The final play was spectacular.  It must have been both exhilarating and rewarding for Richard Sherman.   But, in my opinion, he misused the moment.  And he looked small.

Instead of celebrating the accomplishment with his teammates and chest bumping the teammate that actually made the interception, he went after Crabtree, taunting him.  Moments later, Fox Sports' Erin Andrews, asked him to describe the play.

 

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"I'm the best corner in the game," Sherman yelled. "When you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that's the result you're gonna get. Don't you ever talk about me."

And because he does not really answer the question directly, Andrews asks who he is talking about.

"Crabtree," he said. "Don't you open your mouth about the best or I'm gonna shut it for you real quick."

It came off badly.  He used the moment to belittle his opponent.  He jumped at the chance to glorify (and perhaps overstate) his own giftedness.  It was brash.  It was brazen.  And he was dripping in pride.

But Richard Sherman is going to help me mentor youth.

Richard Sherman brings up a topic that me and the guys have needed to talk about. I am hoping that, this coming Sunday morning, the Sherman-Crabtree story will lead us into conversation that proves formational for the young men I love.

The topic is sure to connect with them.  I predict a couple of the guys will defend his brazen cockiness.  I know that they been taught to admire and identify with the swagger that was on display.  One of my guys even thinks so highly of himself, that he self-imposed and self-propagated a change of his first name to match that of 4-time NBA MVP, LeBron. It's a far cry from Abdi Abdi. 

You can guarantee a couple things will come up in our conversation. I will slip into coach speak, suggesting that Richard Sherman should have been a ‘team guy’ and “act like he’s been there before.”
Also guaranteed, I will also ask them to wrestle with Scripture from Proverbs that asserts, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18) Additionally, “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips.” (Proverbs 27:2) Launching from this verse, I'll probably point out that he didn't need to say a word at the end of that game. Had he refused to speak when Erin Andrews jammed the microphone in his face, he still would have been heralded by all for making the play of the game! It's so much sweeter (and right) to let compliments flow in, than to manufacture them on our own.

The need for individual recognition, for each of us, exposes our disbelief in the fact that we are treasured sons and daughters of God.  We feel like we need more than that.  We need the praise and applause of women and men. And many of us chase this idol to find in effort to experience deep fulfillment.  Richard Sherman isn’t the only one out there trumpeting his own name.   While potentially demonizing Sherman here, I am fully aware that the same temptation gets to me, and to us, sporadically.   Behind our degrees and our homes and our Instagram filtered photos, we too come off brazen as well. 

My prayer is for all of us today: me…you…my mentees…and Richard Sherman.  Today, might we attribute all that is good in our lives, to God Himself, who showers us with His good gifts.    

And if you take any credit, then we’ll let Richard Sherman deal with you, "Don't you open your mouth about the best or I'm gonna shut it for you real quick!"

Redemptively Hot Carrots {Recipe Included}

Proactive parents are always pushing vegetables.  They know that, at least in the early years, they are responsible for the diets of their growing kids.

Some hide it in the sauce.  Others incentivize vegetable consumption.  Still others focus on making veggies delectable and palatable.

We employ the 'all of the above' approach.  We do it because physical health matters.  Nutritious diets, that top recommended daily allowances of fruits and vegetables result in positive outcomes for youth.   Eating fruits and vegetables lowers the risk of developing chronic diseases and can also help with weight management.  Blog entries "Top Chef UrbanLife" and "Watch out Chipotle"chronicle two of our recent efforts to engage this challenge
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Our efforts this week included sending hot Mexican-style carrots along with students and their mentors on Bible Study and Burrito {small} Night at UrbanLife.  The carrots were such a hit,  I'm sharing the secret recipe with you:

Redemptively Hot Carrots

1. Peel and slice about 4 pounds of carrots diagonally, about 1/3 inch thick.
2. Additionally, cut 4 yellow onions into thin-ish strips and peel at least one (we suggest 2) whole bulbs of garlic
3. Meanwhile, boil 12 cups of water in a big pot.
4. Once water is boiling, add 4-5 bay leaves.
5. Then add sliced carrots, simmering for 4 minutes.
6. Remove heat and add all these ingredients to the giant pot: sliced onions, 4 cups cider vinegar, 1-20oz. can of sliced jalepenos with juice, 1/2 cup vegetable oil, peeled garlic cloves,  2 tablespoons of salt, 1 tablespoon of pepper, a teaspoon of sugar, and  a punch of dried oregano.
7. Let cool.
8. Refrigerate and enjoy.

Tearing Through Short Stacks with Teenage Boys

My guys tear through their short stacks of pancakes.   And I mean that a couple of different ways.  Sure, we regularly impress Denny’s waitresses with the total number of pancakes our table consumes in a breakfast sitting.  The $4 All-You-Can-Eat Slam was surely not designed to make money on a group in our demographic. 

But there is still another way my guys tear through their short stacks.  They use their hands to rip the pancakes. 

It shouldn’t have caught me off-guard. But it did.  It only took a moment for me to pop off our booth’s vinyl cushion and break into a ‘How to Handle Your Cutlery’ mini-lesson. Being the father of three Ethiopian children, I should have been a little more graceful.   Table etiquette is clearly culturally bound.  All three of my mentees reminded me as much.

“I don’t care what people in here think” boasted the de facto leader with some swagger and scrunched eyes for emphasis.

“It’s way more efficient this way”

“You gotta admit that JP!” added the third.

They had a point.

But so did I.

In my mind, I knew wasn’t a hill to die on.  It wasn’t something to make them feel ashamed about.   But it was worth the discussion for sure. 

They deserve to know that there is a dominant culture that will judge them based on perceptions, wrong or right.   They deserve to know what particular decorum is in specific settings.   That’s why we talk about tipping when we get the bill.  It’s also why they get the ‘how to treat a lady’ speech right before the big dance.  The ability to interact and connect with divergent types of people is a useful skill.  And I want them to posses it.

This is a slice of mentoring.   But it is not the whole.  

Mentoring is greater than, not equal to the teaching of manners.

That’s why I’m not going to ‘trip’ if they tear up the hotcakes on our next trip to Dennys.   The number of meals we share together is actually the more important measure.   If I get to be around these guys as they mature into caring husbands, exceptional employees, involved fathers and courageous community leaders, then we both win.  We are both being made more and more into the image of God, under this scenario.

And that is worth infinitely more than stacks and stacks and stacks of pancakes, whether politely sliced or efficiently torn.

Much Much Reminder

No Squandering God's Goods in 2014

Our youth are gifted.  They really are. 

The problem is, many don't know it.  Or believe it.

Sure, there are a few in every group.  But even the most confident and self-assured of students aren’t convinced they know how or why they are gifted.

But this isn't crazy.

Many of us adults, if pressed, aren’t in touch with our strengths either.  We regularly make weighty decisions flippantly, failing to consider the orientation of our own gifting. We commit our time and treasure without feeling confirmed that we are in optimal, God-directed roles. We may have a general belief that God made us each unique, in His image.  But we often fail to consider our distinct wiring as a valuable input source of our decision-making. And when we don’t, we are in danger of squandering God's goods.

Jesus emphasizes this principle well in the Parable of the Talents (Mathew 25).

You should read it for yourself and let God speak in it.  But for now, I'll give you the JP synopsis:

A particular master of an estate stuffed his duffle bag in preparation for a long trip.  But before taking off down the road, he gathered his servants and trusted them with varying amounts of money.  One got a '5-spot'.  Another got 2.   And the third dude just got 1. 

The master took off.  Once he was gone, the ‘fella’ with the 5, invested it and doubled his money.   The servant with 2, went to work and earned 2 more.  But the third guy just hid his '1' out of fear that it would be lost.

When the master returns from the trip, he is proud of two servants that grew their money, but he was super confused by the one that hid his money.  "What were you thinking?"  He explained that the money should have been invested, someway or somehow. "To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away."  

If we agree that each of us is born with strengths, then it is our duty to further develop our abilities and use them in ways that honor God.   In fact, exercising our giftedness is a primary way that we reflect the image of God. 

  

In working with emerging student leaders, we want them to know that they posses gifts from God.  In The Come Up Leadership Development Internship at UrbanLife, we do this very early in the process.  Here’s how:

1. We administer assessment tools and ask them if the results support what they are seeing in themselves.  Just last month, we dedicated a retreat weekend to this discernment and self-reflective process.  

2. We put students in positions to “try on” their emerging strengths.  We task some with functions of hospitality at gatherings.  Other students are given more executive responsibilities in pulling off events.  Everyone has a portion of tasks that are just plain ‘elbow-grease' work as to approximate the varied demands of authentic employment placements.

3. Together and regularly, we reflect on our experiences.  We answer questions that seem basic, like “Did you enjoy that task?  Was it easy for you?   At what point of the evening were you most energized?” And we affirm the effectiveness and passion we see in one another while at work- called “Big Ups."



In the end, we want students to know how intimately and intricately God made them.  We also want them to know why God gave them unique and potent gifts.  The answer?  To use those gifts in bringing about the Kingdom of God here and now.

Accessing our giftedness can be hard work.  Just like our students, it requires being regularly introspective.  It means listening well to the affirmations of those who know us best.   It demands bravery in trying tasks that feel foreign at first.   And it requires intentionality in scheduling our time to be in places where we are serving God in the unique ways he has prepared us to do so.   

With this new filter, I challenge you to look again at the New Year's resolutions that you just made.  Go  ahead, revise, slash and add if you need to.  It will be freeing!

May we all realize that we are trusted with gifts.   May we leverage our strengths to love others well.   And may we hear from our master, upon his return,  “Well done, good and faithful servant.”