Redemption that Looks Like a Criminal Charge

We are steady in recruitment of adult volunteer leaders. 

We always invite:  “CHANGE A LIFE.  AND IT WILL CHANGE YOU TOO.”

HS Volunteer Leaders at Christmas Party 2012

Here’s what that really looks like for one of the volunteer leaders on our team this week:

Thursday morning, Kate will send her own 3 kids off to school.   Then, instead of heading into work, she will accompany one of her other (UrbanLife student) kids to court.   Kate shouldn’t have to go.  In fact she warned Nelly against taking what turned out to be criminal action.  Sure, the words used against Nelly were wrong and hurtful.  They cut deep and inflamed her. But Kate provided solid council, rational options, and realistic warning of possible consequences.  Violence just wasn’t the best route.  Clearly it isn’t the Christian route. 

Nelly just didn’t listen.  She was too proud, too angry, too hurt.  Whatever. 

The punch was vicious.  It connected.  It jolted.  It hurt.  The crowd swarmed.  Clutching hair in the left, swinging wildly with the right.  

“A female version of Manny Pacquiao!” 

It continued for 11 seconds, at least.  May as well have been 11 minutes.  Both were pounced on.  Campus police restrained. Separated. Questioned.  School administration disciplined. 

But now a judge.

Kate could feel betrayed.  She could justify walking away.  But she’s not.  She gets it.  She holds on to the glimpses of beauty, of leadership and of maturity that she has seen in Nelly so far.  She loves like Jesus would. Unconditionally. Kate knows that her presence will make a difference.  I am convinced that Kate may be the only approving face Nelly sees on Thursday.  Kate knows that discipleship is long.  It’s a journey.  It’s not perfectly linear either.  She knows that being there Thursday will be more impactful for Nelly than any message, any small group time, and any outing that Nelly will experience all year.

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Most of us leaders need ‘the leading’ even more than students need us to lead.  That’s the truth. We are placed in a position to live out our highest calling.  There, we find ourselves in the middle of messy situations, unsolvable puzzles. We discover that some of the pressures our students face, are systemic in nature. Others are unjust at best.  In these moments, we are reminded that we are not supposed to solve kid’s problems necessarily.  We are reminded that our presence, attention, empathy, and encouragement are the most sacred things we can offer.  And we remember that we are quite small, when it comes down to it.  In these moments we see a fundamental reality that we are used to burying: We actually need God.

It’s weird to write out loud that we forget we need God.  But we do it all the time, throughout our day.   I often look to Mother Google for answers much more readily than I do to Father God.  I walk away from other’s pain far too often.   I put fork to mouth without a real moment of acknowledging where my bread really comes from.   And my relative richness (top 1% of the world) keeps me a cool 75 degrees and well fed.   Come to think of it, I don’t even viscerally remember what hunger pains feel like.  It was too long ago. Journeying with our students strips us of our simple solutions and reminds us of the truth: We need God.

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Kate will tell you that she needs God this Thursday.  But on Friday, she will also tell you that God met her.  And this whole fiasco will change her.  Kate will be more of the woman God dreamed she would be.  

*Names were changed for the sake of anonymity.

Redemption (alma mater) Song

If you are following, you saw that my junior varsity squad suffered a 80-point loss recently.  I tried to make sense of it in THIS POST.

Same gym. Same month. Different opponent. But...<<this is really important>>...different outcome!

It was a battle of titans, a low scoring affair.  The lead changed numerous times.  In the end, we won by a single point (40-39)!

But you would have thought we made it to the NCAA Finals.

Experience unabashed celebration in the van-ride home:

Five Sides of Ridiculousness

It's super ridiculous when you get a text like this regarding a ride to church.

It tells you that you are loving the right people.  "Yeah blood."

Also ridiculous, our campus boasts the last standing pay phone in the western hemisphere.

Super ridiculous, was the margin of loss in our recent junior varsity basketball game.

Both surprising and ridiculous: Children from our neighborhood play tetherball in our parking lot with a handicapped parking sign, a small rope, plastic grocery bags, and any round object.

Crazy ridiculous is what I find myself doing so that youth can know the love of Jesus.

Down By 50

Being down by more than 50 points at halftime, my hand was forced.  I was compelled to cut through all the bull-crap and shoot straight  with my team. 

“Guys… <long pause>…we are going to lose this game.        There, I said it.  But winning today’s game has never been our measuring stick.   Your job is to get better and to work towards a phenomenal senior season.  Your challenge today is to push through adversity and become better young men.    We will look back at this day in two or three years and smile.   We will remember the day we went into halftime, down by 50.  And whether we like it or not in this moment, it’s part of our journey.”

This was our worst possible matchup.  It wasn’t fair, even from the beginning.  The contributing factors originated in places far from the basketball court.   They just collided all at once on the hardwood two days ago.

Consider this:

I have only 2 guys that have ever played an entire season on a competitive basketball team.  They had 15 or more.  Most of our opponents have grown up playing for traveling “club” basketball teams, in addition to their school teams.

Over the course of the tournament, we didn’t have a single parent attend a game.  That afternoon, our opponent’s supporters filled 2 sets of bleachers, each six rows deep.

In large part our students attend Crawford by default.  Nearly 50% of their neighbors bus out to other schools in the district.

Our opponents all attended an elite private school where the academic rigor is high and the tuition payments are even higher.

As coaches, we transport every team member to and from away games.  We use the UrbanLife vans and gas, as the district expects parents to make it happen.   We wash their uniforms.  We feed them, whether PB and honey or Taco Bell, between games.   We drop them at their doorsteps.  Whatever is needed, we do it together.

“The good news is that God has given us another 30 minutes to play this great game of basketball together.   It’s a privilege.  Here’s the deal.  Nobody looks up at the scoreboard. In response, we are going to battle.  We are going to get better this half.  We are going to become stronger, more resilient young men.   Let’s surprise everyone watching by the way we compete until the final horn.   Let’s play as if we are down by 1 point the entire time.   Let’s stay positive the entire time.   Let’s play for one another.  I’m proud of you guys and I love you guys.  Let’s go battle!”

Despite the significant limiting factors, so much is possible.   We have 2-3 years to develop the players that I am working with on the junior varsity level.   For students, personal growth is ongoing.  Facing adversity on the court provides a context for me to mentor and teach some of life’s most important lessons.  It won’t happen in a vacuum or because of a canned curriculum.   Being involved in athletics (or any extracurricular activity) empirically increases the likelihood that students will go on to graduate and perform academically.   That’s been demonstrated in educational research.  Additionally, an entire school culture can be lifted by successful, winning athletic programs.  It’s not rocket science.  Teams that win give students something to celebrate, to be proud of.   It’s beginning to happen even now.  Our varsity team is 11-0 and competing in a tournament championship game tonight.

This has been the plan all along.   As Jake (UrbanLife Executive Director) and I coach at the local high school, it super strategic.  We meet new students every day.  We are placed in positions to mentor others.   And we are provided the chance to lift the morale of an entire campus, such that Crawford is not the “default” place to go. 

We lost by more than 80 points that day.

But we kept our chins up. 

Now, we are looking forward to a possible playoff matchup with that private school in 2014.

Meet Bosco

7 years ago, Bosco (in orange below) lived with his family in the Democratic Republic of Congo.  But the world’s deadliest conflict, since World War II sent them to refugee camps in Rwanda.  There, he lived 5 tents away from his best friend Chance.  They played soccer together nearly every day.  Four months ago, Bosco and his family traveled by plane to Los Angeles.  Today, they live as settled (actually settl-ING) refugees in my neighborhood.  Chance lives here too.  Instead of soccer, they are now learning basketball, on my Junior Varsity squad.

At try-outs, we talked.

“I am so glad you are here Bosco.”

“When do we get the short pants?”

“You don’t have any?”

“No coach.”

“We will get some practice uniforms.  For now, just play in your pants.  I’d like to see if you can play.”

On a ride home last week, we sort of conversed,

“These Christmas lights are beautiful, huh Bosco?”

“I really love basket-bol coach.”
“I’m really glad you do, Bosco.”

Today, Bosco and Chance approached me after practice.

“Hey coach, we want to practice the shooting at the park.  We need a ball.”

“Here take this one.  It’s mine.  Don’t lose it.”

Bosco is why I coach.  

Through basketball I get the opportunity to teach life lessons.  This year, Bosco and Chance will learn the value of hard work, the need to push through adversity and the meaning of commitment.  

But I also get the chance to be parental and mentor-ish to these guys.   It’s rare to see parents cheering on their sons.  Many of them have to work.  I get to be there every game.  Before (and sometimes after) competitions, we end up feeding these growing boys.  In this picture, Bosco and his teammate Labon are devouring 5-layer PB and J sandwiches.  We use UrbanLife gas and vans to transport them around the city for games, as the district places this burden on parents.  I teach them to tie ties and to wear them with class.  And I give them “the business” when they aren’t treating girls right. 

Bosco is learning more than anyone that I know right now.   Along with the high post offense, he is learning how to navigate American public schools and to find neighborhood resources for his family.  He needs friends like us along the way. 

Today, you can play a role in seeing Bocso, Chance, and his other teammates thrive.   There are multiple entry points. 

You can tutoring a player one afternoon a week. 

You can be a mentoring adult friend, journeying with a newly re-settled family. 

Or you could give money for the basics

·      $70 fills the tank of an UrbanLife van

·      $50 gives one of the players legitimate basketball shoes.

·      $40 feeds the team with PB and J/ fruit after a game.

·      $30 Gives Bosco and Chance their own basketball.

·      $20 gets Bosco his first set of basketball shorts.

It’s easy to give, click HERE.   You will have an opportunity to designate your giving.

Whatever you decide, follow this team as a fan of Crawford Colt Basketball.   Our scores and schedule are HERE.  Plus, I post scores and pictures on my personal Instagram account: @justinmarc.

Top Chef UrbanLife

The challenge was both ambitious and clear:

• ·      Purchase, prepare a and serve a hot meal to 70+ youth by 5:30 PM.
• ·      Include seasonal organic vegetables that will be palatable to urban fast-food-fed youth.
• ·      Direct and empower 8-10 student leaders to plate, serve and clear a 3-course meal.
• ·      Reflect honestly on the evening, making recommendations assembling a handful of recipes to be used by future volunteer cooks.

 

Riley and Ashley, my brother and sister-in-law were up for the challenge.  Even though it meant taking a plane ride to get here.  A lawyer by trade, Riley has a love for cooking and revels in making “blow-out” meals for 4-8 people.  Ashley, a small business owner, plans and executes events to raise funds for non-profits in the Bay Area.  Her breadth of experience in pulling off large events would prove advantageous in our context.

They woke that Monday morning ready to rock.

Game-time butterflies swarmed their insides.  This would be an uphill climb.

Between the sips of coffee, the questions kept coming:

“How will we heat things without an oven?”

“What vegetables have you served in the past at UrbanLife?”

“Do you know where I can buy some faro (a grain)?”

“Is fish totally out of the question?”

“Will we have help getting the food out?”

It felt like we were living the opening scene of America’s Top Chef.

Once the coffee was finished, Riley was racing through aisles of Whole Foods.  He bought all the faro they had in stock.  He made the critical decision to supplement faro with wheat berries.  Ashley and her sister (my wife) happily helped load down a cart at Costco, full of items ranging from persimmons to M & Ms.

Before lunchtime, Riley was grilling chicken breasts over briquettes in my back patio with his shirt off.   And by the time school let out, they were shuttling containers of food over to the UrbanLife property.

Before students flooded the building, Riley and Ashley were working at full-tilt: Riley taught student leaders about food presentation and then used each of them to assemble the main course, using an example plate as a model.  Ashley was busy organizing the servers, assigning them tables and reviewing the order of service.

Full. Tilt.

When students rushed through the doors, it must have felt like a formal family dinner with the extended family.   The hugs, welcome of the volunteer leaders, and the plated food, all announced “Family Here!”  

They sat down to a plated mixed green salad, garnished with fresh persimmons and touched with a citrus vinaigrette. 

In short order, students were served a faro grain bowl, topped with grilled chicken breast, butternut squash, feta cheese, vine-ripe tomatoes and an olive oil drizzle. “Don’t forget the S and P!” shouts Riley.   Salt and pepper.  They remembered.

While the evening’s food may as well have been foreign cuisine to students, most of them devoured it.  A few of them raved about it.  My favorite comment came from Courtney: “When I get rich, you are going to be my personal chef!”

Um…I guess Courtney.  Adults in the room knew what they got that night.  They were effusive in their praise.

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Seeing the Hurds step up to this challenge was entertaining.  

Much more than that though, it was meaningful----for all parties.

As director of this ministry, I (Justin) felt loved and supported in my work.  I caught a vision for how this time can be even more welcoming and nourishing to the souls and bodies of our students.

Students felt cared for and nurtured.  It was clear.

Riley and Ashley felt emboldened in the act of serving.   We are all created with an intrinsic desire to serve, which is activated when we actually do it.  Whether it is a rush of dopamine or a breath from God, we are reinforced somehow in our serving.   That’s because we are living into the people God dreamed we would be, if only in that moment.   We are created in the image of God.  And serving others is at the core of who He is.

Ashley and Riley might/ might not describe their experience in these terms.  We might hear, “It was our pleasure,” coupled with a wide grin. 

Don’t be mistaken.  The pleasure they experienced came from being the hands and feet of God that night.

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Consider living into your calling with us at UrbanLife.   It may mean firing up your Croc Pot with some hot chili.  It could mean working an extra shift at work to purchase the food for a Monday night.  Or it could mean committing to a mentoring friendship with a few youth in our community.   I would love to facilitate your particular expression of God’s image in you.   Just contact me.  

Ridiculous Swagger

Perhaps the most effective means of connecting with youth, is acting ridiculous yourself.   It takes courage and self assurance and "swagger" to dance in public without invitation.  But Sarah does it.  All the time.

Featured in this video, is my ministry sidekick Sarah Wiese.   She is amazingly gifted in connecting with youth and moving them into deeper waters of faith and reflection.  She also serves as "House Mom" to our UrbanLife Girls House.  Less than a mile from my residence, several college-aged UrbanLife graduates live in community, committed to one another and to following the call of Jesus on their lives.

I count it a privilege to work with her.

Enjoy the swagger.