America's Fatherless

It's fair to say that the overwhelming majority of the youth I work with are functionally fatherless.

This is a big stinking deal.
Across the United States, just over 33 percent of youth are fatherless. Thats more than 25 million kids.

Without a dad in their lives, many of my friends are 'up against it,' right from the jump, through no fault of their own. The probable outcomes for youth in this category are sobering. 

Children from fatherless homes account for:

• 63 percent of youth suicides
• 71 percent of pregnant teenagers
• 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children
• 70 percent of juveniles in state operated institutions
• 85 percent of all youth who exhibit behavior disorders
• 80 percent of rapists motivated with displaced anger
• 71 percent of all high school dropouts
• 75 percent of all adolescents in chemical abuse centers
• 85 percent of youths sitting in prison.                                                 ***

While God claims to be Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5), few of my compadres in this category take real peace or assurance from this seemingly abstract idea.  

Instead, they keep showing up where we are.  They put up a front, then quickly latch on to adults that show genuine interest and liking of them.  

They long to be known.

They long to beat the odds.

They long to be encouraged.

They long to be seen as their best selves.

They long to be cheered for.

They long to be believed in.

Few of these youth will ever see a re-emergence and a positive re-engagement from Pops. Realistically, this is not in the cards.  But they may get a mentor.  They may get someone to come to their games, to ask them about school, and to include them in family events.  They may get a trustworthy, interested, consistent adult in their lives.  They just might get a mentor.

Having a mentor can change everything.  It can turn probable statistics up on its' head.  Mentors can rewrite the outcomes of youth. Just showing up, mentors can play a major role in reclaiming the potential of youth in our community. They can be a part of the Kingdom of God, really at work in the here and now.  

Even more profound: BE-ing a mentor will redeem your own story.

Are you down?

***Statistics used from "Fatherless Generation: Redeeming the Story" John Sowers

Cheeto Counseling

These two things really did happen on the same night:

1. I ate a cheeto, soaked in tub full of water, moldy salsa, chicken poo and hot sauce.

2. (on a van-ride home) One of our youth shared with me that she was incarcerated by the age of 12, raped by an auntie's boyfriend, separated from a biological brother because of his mental illness, and deeply affected by the murder of a sister she had never met.  

As to the first, our Fear Factor club was wild and crazy, just as we hoped.  The Orange Avenue building surged with intermittent laughter and squeals.   Laughter is good medicine for hurting people.   And it's hard not to laugh at people eating fried chicken feet, drinking spit-mixed lemonade and enduring the sting of bare feet in tubs of crushed ice.

And to the second, I have a few thoughts.  I hurt deeply when I hear what some of our youth face at such an early age.  I hurt with them.  I pray like crazy that God will bring more adults to walk these rough roads with our students. I am faced with a reality that a 10 minute message about God's love is just the speck of a beginning of a magnanimous healing process.  And, I am left looking for a day when healing is assured; when dignity and innocence are restored, when pain and self-doubt and fear are cast away, when pure love, acceptance, and rightly directed intimacy abounds.  

For her, come Lord Jesus.

Straight Up. Outreach.

In case I forgot somewhere, between the cheese pizza and slurpee stops: this is OUTREACH.

I was vividly reminded of this fact last night in a small group discussion with 11 of my guys.   Together (loosely defined), we read the story of Thomas, whom doubted Jesus rose from the dead and was in front of him.  Not until Thomas touched the wounds of his side, did he believe. I acknowledged that we all have some level of doubt.  My question for them was simple and related:

"What gets in the way of you believing in God?"

The answers were as follows:

"I don't believe in God.  I think it's all bullshit."
"I can't see how God would allow poor people to suffer.  They probably try to follow him too."
"I am a Muslim.  Allah spoke to Jesus, but my sheik told me they are always adding stories to the Bible."
"I just don't believe the things that the Bible says, that thousands of people were fed from 3 fishes, that Jesus walked on water."
"I just think that everyone is bad when they are young and that they follow God when they get older."
"I think God scares people into believing in him.  People only come to God once everything is bad in their life.  You never see it the other way around."
"I just can't believe in something you cannot see."
"I don't believe in anything."

There wasn't a single dude that said, "I'm in.  This is for real."  Not even close.
My guys keep coming.  My guys hear about a God that loves them radically, unconditionally.  I am sure that they are intrigued.  Now God has to do his thing.

I am excited to see how this story unfolds.  We are hanging with the right crew.  They are the ones God longs to show up for, to express his acceptance of.   But the chapters are going to play out over years, not weeks or days.  I'm just happy that I get to be near the action.

UrbanLife Explained

In this short Video, I introduce you to the work of UrbanLife. Enjoy. Props to Danny Kim.

Colts Hoops Camp

Marvel at our developing leaders.  They spent their Spring break planning and running a basketball camp for the younger kids in the neighborhood.  In it, they experienced the joy that comes with serving others.  I am proud of them.

Hector

Tonight, it is officially clear that God has me in a strategic position.  The need is clearly great and the pain of students is real.  But my role is clear and clearly important .

One unclear piece of our decision to work for UrbanLife, was how God would marry my desire to love the orphan and my desire to see the lives of youth in our neighborhood flourish.  Being realistic, I knew that the demands of programming and relationship building might leave little, if any, energy to reach out to foster kids in our neighborhood.  I made some calls in the first month of work at UrbanLife.  But it quickly became obvious that I need more time with the students in front of me and I need more adult leaders to bring the potential new students into.

Tonight the first foster student came to us.  He came asking for money, about 20 minutes before the other 70 arrived.  I got the chance to hear a little of his story and it made me hurt.   He is barely 18 and now emancipated from the foster system.  He is not welcome with mom or dad.  He has been living in an abandoned house in our neighborhood since November.  He smelled like the street.  He hasn't finished high school, and just wants to work.  He is holding onto the American Dream that his mother moved here for.  He is not a citizen.  His future is dim.  His God is in love with him.

That last statement has me open to God's leading.  I am no fool.  I am not going to be able to solve even most of his problems.  But he is in a bad spot.   He needs some warmth tonight.  He needs some folk to believe in him.  Tonight he is sleeping in the new mobile trailor at church.  His clothes tumble in the dryer as I type.  He has a warm sleeping bag and hot tea in a thermos.  The space heater is extension-corded all the way out to the unit.  The space heater is pointed at his face.   He should sleep well. 

But what does tomorrow hold?  And what is my role?  Tonight, it was just to be a warm smile, a listening ear, and an encouraging voice.

Thank God for this position.