Risky Business

Love is risky.  It maddens.

My crew was anything but lovable last night. 

Spring League varsity basketball game.

Across town.

Things went sideways fast.  

I burned all my timeouts way ahead of time.  

The scoreboard deficit piled up.  

Guys sauntered in from timeouts.

Failed to gather for coaching advice.

They refused to run plays. 

They talked back.  

They pouted.  

They blamed each other.  

They made excuses.   

Things got worse.  

I benched one of them for the remainder of the game.  

Then another.  

One changed into street clothes,while his teammates were competing.

We lost by 30.

Embarrassment hung thick.

Two of them failed to line up and congratulate the other team.

I instructed them to line up.

They big-timed me.

The ride back to UrbanLife was swift.  

Careening corners.

Player conversations about opposing strategy. 

Missing the point.

A different player challenges me verbally.

Super inappropriate and misappropriated.

I pull him aside.

They walk home.

I’m fuming.

Love is risky.  It’s confusing.

I don’t like being disrespected.

Don’t they know?

I love them.  

Been loving for 6 months straight.  {which is nothing}

Been a college coach.

4 years.

Was on a different trajectory.

One with less obvious opportunities for bruising.

I chose them.

I choose them.

They don’t get it.

Love is risky. It exposes us. 

I care about success on the court.

People who know me were watching.

I want to impress.

My own ish.

Love is risky. It endures.

Today we meet again.

Will be some accountability.

Will be some hard conversations.

Could be suspensions.  

Some restoration?

I want to love them in their ugliness.

Jesus would.

Want them to know that they are better than that.

ONeill, Wojtkowski, Tyson, Cos- all those guys would wash their hands of these dudes.  

I know it.

I saw it.

I can’t.

It’s bigger than that.

God invited me to love these guys.

Particularly.

By name.

No matter how things go down.

Whereever the road takes us.

Even if they quit the team.

Or get kicked off.

I will love them.

Even if it hurts.

Even if it scares me.

Even if I get punked.

Even if I never win a game.

Because

He loves them.   

Love is risky.  But it is right.